Loving you quietly

Two o’clock in the morning,

eyes fixed on the ceiling,

my mind everywhere

and nowhere at once.

Thoughts tangle.

Sleep stays distant.

And still,

all I crave is you.

I picture your brown eyes,

the ones I fell into

without knowing how to swim.

I loved them so deeply

I forgot how to see anyone else.

Cruel, isn’t it

how beauty can undo you so gently?

I felt your soul

and something in me leaned toward it,

as if it had always known the way.

Now every inch of distance

carries weight.

Your voice,

a melody I reach for in silence,

even as I resist

calling your name this late.

So I hold myself together.

Let the feeling exist

without placing it in your hands.

Because love,

like faith,

sometimes asks for quiet,

for patience,

for trust without proof.

It’s heavy,

carrying it alone.

But maybe that’s what love does,

teaches you how to endure

what you once thought impossible.

I love your darkness

as much as your light.

Tell me every terrible thing

you’ve ever done,

I would not turn away.

Just don’t keep me

at a distance

when I could be

the place you rest.

I dreamed of you

before I ever knew your name.

And when we met,

it felt less like beginning

and more like remembering.

I wasn’t searching for love.

Still, I found you.

And I live,

truly live,

By experiencing the privilege

of loving you.

If death found me tonight,

I’d ask for nothing more

than to rest in your shadow,

so when the world forgets me,

something of me

remains beside you.

If only you could see yourself

through my eyes.

You would understand

why I fall silent in your presence,

why my heart fills

with unsaid things.

You would understand

why I believe in something greater

because you feel deliberate,

as if you were made

with intention,

with care,

with knowing.

If only you could see yourself

through my eyes.

I ask nothing in return.

Loving you is enough.

To have known you,

to have felt alive

in your presence,

that is my joy.

And I will carry it,

quietly,

always.

Good night.

          Himy 🖤🥀